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They say a dog is a man’s best friend. And although many report that a certain sparkly gemstone is a girl’s best friend; I disagree. A woman’s best friend should be a cat.

Meet Kayla.

She has been my best (animal) friend since 2008. Sometime after completing graduate school and living without roommates for the first time (in a city known for the occasional household rat) I decided to embark on the journey to owning my very first pet. Other than some short-lived fish, I had never had a pet growing up and thought I should break myself into the experience by starting with a cat. Other reasons for this pet choice included the fact that I did actually have a bit of a rat problem that my building manager seemed less than concerned about and was working long hours at the hospital, limiting my time to provide walks and potty break

My second decision after deciding to get a cat was my decision to adopt, or rescue a cat from a shelter. I knew that shelters are over-crowded with animals needing to be loved and cared for and I wanted to be a part of that solution. I filled out an application with my local shelter that made my process into graduate school look simple. I waited. And finally, I was approved! As I happily went down to the shelter to pick out my pet, I didn’t have in my head what I was looking for. Small, big, young, old, long hair, short hair, it was all up in the air for me. I was waiting for a connection. When I arrived, the staff let me into the cat holding area. I looked around. Right away, a tiny black cat pressed her face to the cage door and “Meowed” loudly. She kept meowing until I picked her up and held her in my arms. And then she was silent. She rubbed her head against my shoulder and I was in love. I didn’t even continue to look at the other cats. I couldn’t. This one was mine. In fact, it seemed as though she had picked me.

Fast forward to today. Kayla and I have braved a cross-country move, a plane ride full of cat-haters, several dogs, another cat, three different homes, a marriage and a baby. And through it all, she has remained resilient, patient, adaptable and kind. She cheers me up. And now, she cheers my little boy up too!

I don’t know what month is “adopt-a-pet” month (I’m sure there is one), but I adopted Kayla in February many years ago, so I’m writing this to you now. The adoption need for stray or shelter cats is so great and the number of people willing to help so few. Approximately 70% of the 3-4 million cats that that are abandoned to nationwide shelters are euthanized (http://www.aspca.org/about-us/faq/pet-statistics.aspx). And tragically, seven out of ten shelter cats are euthanized because no one adopts them (http://www.aspca.org/about-us/faq/pet-statistics.aspx). When I was trying to find a home for a stray cat I found last year, I called every city and county shelter in a 200-mile radius of where I live and was told time and time again that they could not accept anymore cats into their shelter due to overcrowding. And not only that, but the shelters were receiving reports that due to economic difficulties, individuals where simply releasing their pet cats to the street.

For those people who think that they can just leave a cat outdoors to return to the feral cat population; it doesn’t work that way. Most cats cannot relearn street survival skills after residing as an indoor pet. The outcome for almost every stray is a violent end or a slow, painful death. Many abandoned cats die outdoors from starvation, disease, abuse, or as the food of a predator (http://www.feralcat.com/).

Fortunately, I did end up finding a good home for my stray, but it wasn’t easy and really brought to light for me the great need of this population.

If you have a rescue cat, congrats and thank you. If you do not have a rescue cat, please consider adopting one. You’ll be surprised how much joy they bring into your life.

I know my life has been brighter as a result of adding Kayla to it.

And finally, for those of you who do own a cat, here are a few tips for ways to help keep your cat safer:

• Keep your cat away from dangerous Traffic
• Keep your can up-to-date on its vaccine’s to reduce Diseases.
• Keep your cat safe from household or yard (such as chemically treated lawns) Poisons.
• Keep your cat Flea-free by maintaining their medication.
• Keep your cat safe from Other Animals that pose a threat as a predator.
• Keep your cat away from Cruel People who may want to inflict harm.
• Keep your cat from “Loss of Home” by providing him/her with a microchip.

The following are some websites you can visit to learn more about cats, animal adoption, animal shelters, homeless or unwanted animals, spaying/neutering, and pet overpopulation:

http://www.aspca.org

http://kittycitynm.com

http://www.catshelter.org

http://catadoptionteam.org

http://www.avma.org

http://www.alleycat.org

http://www.feralcat.com

http://www.petpopulation.org

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Lighting the Unity Candle

Today The Coastal Living Dad and I celebrated our third Valentine’s Day. We are one of the “More Marriages” Match.com is preaching on their TV commercials. It really is true that more people are finding themselves in relationships that started online. My grad school roommate, my coworker, and my extended family have all found themselves getting married to a partner they met online. Times are constantly changing for how we interact with the world. The internet, and in particular, social media has opened up, not just a door, but a massive gate into an uncharted realm of networking, relationships and beyond. It has changed how we met people, how we read books, and how we share our lives.

But one thing that has not, and cannot be, changed by the internet, is how challenging it is to be married.

My husband and I both came from two-parent homes. Homes where presumably we were taught by example what it means to stick it out through better or worse.

Examples don’t directly translate into actions.

And why is this? Why do so many of my young friends struggle in their relationships? Can we blame feminism and how it’s shaped the role of women both in and outside of the home? Can we blame men for taking a passive stance on leading their family? Can we blame a troubled economy that makes surviving as an educated, upper-middle class family next to impossible? Can we blame Obama?

I know I’d like to blame someone other than myself for the difficult times. Cast fault with a myriad of external circumstances sure to explain why two people rarely see eye-to-eye.

But deep down, I know it’s not Obama’s fault and it’s not my feminism tendencies that cause us to stumble, it’s me. It’s selfishness. And pride. And maybe even greed that keeps my husband and me from being all that we can be together. Maybe it’s the same for you.

A little over two years ago, my husband and I stood before each other, God, our family and our friends and lit a Unity Candle. The unity candle symbolizes the joining of two individuals whose lives have merged into one. As my husband often says, “We’re One Team.”

One unit cannot have differing needs or goals. When one benefits, the other does as well. It’s so easy to forget that in a moment of want.

The “secret” of marriage really is simple: to place your partner’s needs above your own. I understand that simple knowledge is far different than implementation.

My challenge to myself, and to my readers, is this: try to find one way each week to put your partner’s needs ahead of your own. When that becomes easy, try to do it once a day.

I caution you though, do not do this if your goal is to obtain selfless acts from you partner. You can never change another person’s behavior, only the way in which you respond to their behavior. If you waste time spinning your wheels trying to manipulate outcomes instead of enjoying the pleasure of yourself in the moment, you will never be satisfied.

Finally, I want to end by offering you all a poem written by author John Piper for his son on his wedding day. Although this poem is written from the perspective of how a man should love his wife, it goes both ways. Women should love their husbands like this as well.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

 

“Love Her More and Love Her Less”

by John Piper

 

If you now aim your wife to bless,
Then love her more and love her less.

If in the coming years, by some
Strange providence of God, you come
To have the riches of this age,
And, painless, stride across the stage
Beside your wife, be sure in health
To love her, love her more than wealth.

And if your life is woven in
A hundred friendships, and you spin
A festal fabric out of all
Your sweet affections, great and small,
Be sure, no matter how it rends,
To love her, love her more than friends.

And if there comes a point when you
Are tired, and pity whispers, “Do
Yourself a favor. Come, be free;
Embrace the comforts here with me.”
Know this! Your wife surpasses these:
So love her, love her, more than ease.

And when your marriage bed is pure,
And there is not the slightest lure
Of lust for any but your wife,
And all is ecstasy in life,
A secret all of this protects:
Go love her, love her, more than sex.

And if your taste becomes refined,
And you are moved by what the mind
Of man can make, and dazzled by
His craft, remember that the “why”
Of all this work is in the heart;
So love her, love her more than art.

And if your own should someday be
The craft that critics all agree
Is worthy of a great esteem,
And sales exceed your wildest dream,
Beware the dangers of a name.
And love her, love her more than fame.

And if, to your surprise, not mine,
God calls you by some strange design
To risk your life for some great cause,
Let neither fear nor love give pause,
And when you face the gate of death,
Then love her, love her more than breath.

Yes, love her, love her, more than life;
O, love the woman called your wife.
Go love her as your earthly best.

Beyond this venture not. But, lest
Your love become a fool’s facade,
Be sure to love her less than God.

It is not wise or kind to call
An idol by sweet names, and fall,
As in humility, before
A likeness of your God. Adore
Above your best beloved on earth
The God alone who gives her worth.
And she will know in second place
That your great love is also grace,
And that your high affections now
Are flowing freely from a vow
Beneath these promises, first made
To you by God. Nor will they fade
For being rooted by the stream
Of Heaven’s Joy, which you esteem
And cherish more than breath and life,
That you may give it to your wife.

The greatest gift you give your wife
Is loving God above her life.
And thus I bid you now to bless:
Go love her more by loving less.

 

References:

     http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/poems/love-her-more-and-love-her-less

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It’s been a rainy week on this coast. *smile* I like rainy days. The soft sound, the greener grass, the clouds. It’s good to enjoy all seasons since you can’t control them in the first place!

Today’s post is for a delicious smoothie recipe I made up last month. I’m actually having this everyday with my lunch. It. Is. So. Good. And, best of all, good for you! Blueberries and goji berries are known superfoods. And cranberries help reduce the risk of UTIs.

Purple Superfood Smoothie

Ingredients:
- 1 1/4c frozen blueberries
- 1 1/4c cranberry juice (make sure it’s 100% fruit juice, not sugar water)
- 1tsp goji berry powder (sold freeze-dried at Whole Foods)
- 4 ice cubes

Directions:
Put all ingredients into a blender and purée until desired consistency. Add water or ice cubes as needed to make beverage either more liquid or closer to sorbet. Enjoy!

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What I’m loving right now… Buoys!

Now that my seven part series on green living is over, I wanted to write about another topic that is near and dear to The Coastal Living Mom; coastal decor!

This post will touch on one unique way to add the spice of the coast to your yard. One way love to add a rustic touch of coastal beauty to my home is through buoys.

A buoy is a foating device that serves many coastal purposes. The images below are of sailing/fishing buoys that have washed-up on the shore and been collected by my husband’s family.

One of the cool things about using buoys for decoration is that they come in sorts of color combinations. It’s easy to mix and match to have them fit into the theme of any room.

While the pictures below feature examples if ways to use buoys as yard decorations, it’s just as simple to throw a few well-placed buoys around the interior of a home. I love how a few brightly colored buoys look scattered throughout a tall shelf as bookends.

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(Part Seven in a Seven-part series on the products I use to “Green-Up” my life.)

This is my newest find from California Baby!

I was at Target today buying books and shampoo when I saw this stuff. Living by the water there are so many bugs outside. I worry about what to do with my infant. DEET doesn’t seem safe, but neither does a plethora of bug bites. So when I found this bug spray from California Baby, I was thrilled. It is DEET free, and uses citronella, lemongrass and cedar…

I might use this for myself as well!

Disclaimer (sorry to end with a downer, but hey, you can’t recommend things these days without being a little careful): I am not paid by, or given free products from any of the companies I have written about or will be writing about in the future for this series. I am not a physician and do not claim to be one. Please consult your own physician/pediatrician before using any of the products discussed on this blog. I am not responsible for what anyone does as a result of this post. The purpose of this post is to provide information about products that I have found helpful in my life, which does not necessarily mean they will work well in your life. Please use common sense!

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(Part Six in a Seven-part series on the products I use to “Green-Up” my life.)

Good evening! I hope everyone is having a great weekend. The Coastal Living Family has spent the weekend visiting with extended family, taking walks and grocery shopping. Yesterday was The Coastal Living Baby (TCLB)’s first time coming along to help with the grocery shopping! He was super cute and well-behaved. It was fun to have him with us.

The Coastal Living Dad and I finished off saturday with homemade mushroom-broccoli pizza, yum! That’s always a fun recipe to make together as a weekend treat. Today we visited with my brother who was in town for the weekend and I made dark chocolate covered almonds with a sprinkling of sea salt (new recipe)! Good times.

This past week I started my first mid-winter coastal views picture montage on Twitter. If you’re not already following me, take a moment to check out my tweets @TCLMom. I’d love to follow you as well! We have been having fantastic weather here in south Florida and I wanted to share the beauty. I hope this brightens the darkest wintery days for my northern followers!

In my last post, I discussed my preference for glass cups for my beverages. In this post, I would like to showcase my favorite glass baby bottles. I did a lot of research on bottles before I had TCLB. There’s so many options now a days. Bottles with drop-in inserts. Plastic, glass. Wide neck, narrow neck, angled. It can get overwhelming wading through all the choices.

After a significant amount of research I decided on Dr. Brown’s brand of bottles. I love that they are designed to combat colic. Fortunately TCLB never had significant colic/gas. I don’t know if it had anything to do with the design of these bottles, but I’m happy nonetheless. Dr. Brown’s makes primarily BPA-free plastic feeding, or in their own words, “designed to nourish” products. Since I feel strongly about using glass over plastic when possible, I was thrilled to discover that this company makes both 4oz and 8oz anti-colic glass baby bottles. These bottles come in a two pack and I bought one of each. Each package came with two tiny bottle-nipple brushes, so I didn’t need the ones I had bought. I also got the Dr. Brown’s bottle brush for cleaning the main bottle piece. It absorbs soap really well and scrubs well. I love the the glass bottles always look crisp, clear and clean. You don’t get the filmy look that plastic takes on after multiple uses. I love that I don’t have to worry about plastic potentially leaching chemicals into my baby’s beverages.

One additional essential item for a glass baby bottle is a silicone sleeve to protect it from falls and improve grip traction. The Glass Baby Bottle company (link below), is the only place I was able to find the Dr. Brown’s silicone sleeves. After reviewing their website for my purchase, I was impressed with the breath of their products and would encourage anyone interested into viewing available glass bottle options to check them out. Since TCLB is a boy, I bought the two-tone blue silicone sleeve set, but it comes “girl-colors” ad well (pink and yellow). I think the sleeves add some pop to the clear glass and make them more aesthetically pleasing to the eye.

Since I primarily exclusively breastfeed and only use bottles for when I am teaching or for the occasional long babysitting session, four bottles (two 4oz and two 8oz) have been plenty for my family. Check out the link below to learn more about glass baby bottle options! Enjoy!

References:
You can buy the bottles at Target (http://www.target.com/p/Dr-Brown-s-4-oz-Glass-Baby-Bottle-2-pk/-/A-11199569 for the 4oz pack and http://www.target.com/p/Dr-Brown-s-8-oz-Glass-Baby-Bottle-2-pk/-/A-11199570?ref=tgt_adv_XSG10001&AFID=Froogle_df&LNM=%7C11199570&CPNG=baby&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=11199570 for the 8oz pack.)

The silicone sleeves are great, and the only place I could find them was The Glass Baby Bottle, which is an online shop (http://www.theglassbabybottle.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=DB-4OZCOVERBLU&Category_Code=drbrowns for the 4oz pack and http://www.theglassbabybottle.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=DB-8OZCOVERBLU&Category_Code=drbrowns for the 8oz pack.)

Disclaimer (sorry to end with a downer, but hey, you can’t recommend things these days without being a little careful): I am not paid by, or given free products from any of the companies I have written about or will be writing about in the future for this series. I am not a physician and do not claim to be one. Please consult your own physician/pediatrician before using any of the products discussed on this blog. I am not responsible for what anyone does as a result of this post. The purpose of this post is to provide information about products that I have found helpful in my life, which does not necessarily mean they will work well in your life. Please use common sense!

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(Part Five in a Seven-part series on the products I use to “Green-Up” my life.)

Today I have a short post on one way to use products you already have in your home to “green-up” your drinking.

I think a lot of us have heard about the BPA in many plastic products (It’s worth looking into if you’re unfamiliar with the situation). I try and avoid plastic in my home. Both due to possible BPA risk and for the environment. One way I’ve kicked some plastic out if my home, while repurposing something I already had, was with my water glasses.

Before you throw out (or recycle) that jelly jar, think about using it as a water glass! This is a cute new trend I see popping up at my local restaurants. It’s beachy and rustic all at the same time!

All you have to do is take an empty glass jelly jar, wash it out, use a pot scrubber to scrape away the label and then wipe away the adhesive residue with rubbing alcohol. Wash it again, fill with your favorite beverage, and enjoy!

Below you will see two pictures of my own water glass project. And by the way, water tastes way better out of glass than plastic!

before

after

Happy drinking!

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(Part Four in a Seven-part series on the products I use to “Green-Up” my life.)

As I am still technologically challenged and learning the WordPress system, I was unable to figure out how to get the gallery of photos that I took for the California Baby products to let me type my post to go with the pictures, so here it is. California Baby Redux!

This has been a week of firsts. The Coastal Living Baby (TCLB) turned four months old, had his fourth-month shots (so sad!), started solids (USDA certified organic rice cereal), ordered a highchair, got a jumperoo (it’s his favorite toy/activity and it’s ocean-themed too!), and started a new sleep routine. I am constantly amazed by the growth and development TCLB exhibits. He wows me everyday.

I’ve read some articles recently about mothers being warriors, carpe diem, and motherhood being “the hardest job in the world.” Please understand, I am not trying to knock those articles, I’m not even saying I disagree with them. But when I read those stories they cause me to pause and think about how I feel and what I am experiencing. And what I’ve come up with is this: being a mother (and being a stay at home mom) is so much better than I could ever have imagined. Not because it’s easy, and not because it’s hard (depending on what side of the fence you’re on), but simply because it is the best expression of love I think humans are capable of.

When I worked for the University of Pennsylvania I had, what I now refer to, as “the dream job.” I was doing interesting research at an amazing facility with great coworkers, good hours and fair pay. And although my current job is salaried at what I would have to call “negative pay,” because we’re loosing money with my position, I can honestly say that I couldn’t be happier.

With all other jobs I’ve had, I could always find something that I wished was different, something I thought would make it a better experience. But motherhood, there’s nothing I’d change about that. I loved his first moments, I loved his first month, and I love now. And even the tiring parts, when I’m up all night, are made easy when I look down through the dim light and see a tiny smile pull up the corners of my baby’s lips. Knowing that he’s happy and secure is all I need to push through til morning.

Now, to shift gears drastically, back to my favorite line of baby bath/body/diaper products! I exclusively use the California Baby products on TCLB. They have some products with scent, but to be on the safe side, I stick with the fragrance free “super sensitive” products. As you can see from my previous pictures, they make a lot of stuff! I have used the following California Baby products in my home: shampoo/body wash, bubble bath (haven’t used yet, but soon), diaper rash cream, non-talc powder, diaper area wash, everyday lotion, SPF 18 moisturizing sunscreen, and SPF 30 sunblock stick (haven’t used the sunblock stick yet, just the lotion).

I like that these products are free of common allergens, petroleum, gluten, dairy and synthetic fragrances. The diaper trio is amazing. I love that I have the option of using a safe (talc free) power! I use the diaper area wash a lot for extra messy diapers to help make sure everything is clean. I think this helps prevent rashes. And fortunately, I’ve only had to use the diaper rash cream a few times. The next item I used frequently is the everyday lotion. It’s fragrance free and made without common allergens. I’ve even been able to use it to reverse a teething rash on TCLB’s stomach! The shampoo/body wash has been perfect for TCLB’s baths. It appears to be tear-free, which makes me feel better and I know makes my little one feel better! I used a different shampoo product one time, at my pediatrician’s recommendation, and it irritated his eyes so badly, it made me want to cry! How horrible to needlessly cause discomfort or pain to our children. Finally, the moisturizing sunscreen is really mild and easy to apply, great for young ones.

I love being able to write about good products that have helped make the life of my baby better and safer. I hope that wherever you live, you are able find great items for your little ones as well.

Reference: http://www.californiababy.com/

Disclaimer (sorry to end with a downer, but hey, you can’t recommend things these days without being a little careful): I am not paid by, or given free products from any of the companies I have written about or will be writing about in the future for this series. I am not a physician and do not claim to be one. Please consult your own physician/pediatrician before using any of the products discussed on this blog. I am not responsible for what anyone does as a result of this post. The purpose of this post is to provide information about products that I have found helpful in my life, which does not necessarily mean they will work well in your life. Please use common sense! And finally, just because these products are listed as non-toxic, they aren’t meant to be consumed, so keep them out of reach from babies, kids and pets.

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(Part Three in a Seven-part series on the products I use to “Green-Up” my life.)

Tom’s of Maine mouth hygiene products are my go-to brand for all things dental. This will not come as a shocker, but I started using Tom’s when I got pregnant. I wanted something safer then the “sparkling gel crystals” or whitening chemicals in my typical toothpaste.

I had seen Tom’s around at my local stores (it’s typically sold at Target, Publix and Whole Foods). The packaging boasts, “natural” so I looked on the back to see what that translated into. As they say, “What makes a product good? At Tom’s, it includes how we make it.” Tom’s products are made with no artificial colors, flavored, fragrance, or preservatives. Now that’s something I like!

One thing to keep in mind is that Tom’s has ADA (American Dental Association) accepted and non-ADA accepted products. I always use the ADA accepted ones.

The picture above shows my dental triad. Toothpaste, floss and mouthwash. The toothpaste is a cavity protection, spearmint, fluoride toothpaste. It taste is very pleasant, just like any other spearmint-flavored toothpaste, but with out the artificial flavoring. The floss is kind of regular, but I like the values of this company so I get it from them. Finally, the mouthwash is anticavity, alcohol-free, and “juicy mint” flavored. In addition, it is gluten-free, SLS-free, and dye-free. I have to say, the juicy mint is a lot more palatable then some of the harsh, alcohol-based mouthwashes I’ve tried in the past.

Reference: http://tomsofmaine.com

Disclaimer (sorry to end with a downer, but hey, you can’t recommend things these days without being a little careful): I am not paid by, or given free products from any of the companies I have written about or will be writing about in the future for this series. I am not a physician and do not claim to be one. Please consult your own physician/pediatrician before using any of the products discussed on this blog. I am not responsible for what anyone does as a result of this post. The purpose of this post is to provide information about products that I have found helpful in my life, which does not necessarily mean they will work well in your life. Please use common sense! And finally, just because these products are listed as non-toxic, they aren’t meant to be consumed, so keep them away from kids and pets.